


Ocean

by SAOShea



Series: Creampuff Week 2015 [3]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Creampuff Week, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-06 18:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAOShea/pseuds/SAOShea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LaFontaine used to love the ocean.<br/>Creampuff Week Day Three.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ocean

It was different the last time LaFontaine was here, sitting in the grey-white sand. The landscape hadn’t changed, but they had. The most glaring difference was the empty space beside them, the one that Perry had occupied previously. The less obvious, but more painful difference, was the emptiness in their heart. It was hollow and dark and consuming. Their heavy breaths rattled in their chest as if there were an infinite chasm where thoughts and feelings and memories of Perry used to belong.

The sun caressed the horizon, casting passionate reds and lively oranges across the sky and reflecting in the dancing ocean. It was a profound beauty that LaFontaine barely acknowledged; it merely provided a backdrop for their desolation.

“Thank you. It’s gorgeous,” Perry had said, tucked into their side, pads of her fingers brushing softly against their open palm. LaF almost felt her presence beside them because Perry was there in all their thoughts and actions. She’d spent so much of her time working into every crevice of LaF’s heart and every nook of their mind that LaF was at a loss without her. They both used to be so intertwined that LaFontaine believed they’d spend their whole life with her. Now, that was never going to happen.

LaFontaine gritted their teeth hard, until the stinging tension in their jaw became unbearable. They had no tears to cry, just storms of rage swirling in their stomach. Why did I wait so long to tell her? was their hounding thought. They were too late. Perry was marrying someone else.

The sun was dipping even lower now and LaF thought it was perhaps mirroring their emotions: the colours fading away and dripping into the darkness of the sky. This was the last place they’d come on holiday together and LaFontaine was trying to empty the memories of Perry from the places they’d etched themselves into. If they could be here alone, then maybe they could be without Perry, indefinitely. As soon as they thought that, it felt like sacrilege. It felt like breaking the deepest oath they could. There was no way that the burning light of Perry would not have meaning in their life.

Logically, they knew life would continue: their heart was still beating, their lungs still breathing, their eyes still seeing. But the rippling electricity in their neurones and the relentless release of energy in their mitochondria felt futile. It was almost as if it weren’t quite worth it if Perry wasn’t there to share in the wonder. LaF’s mind was science and their heart was Perry and without the latter, the former fell into a lethargic monotony. Test results weren’t astounding, only useful; petri dishes weren’t beautiful, only ordinary.

It was frustrating, being caught in this abyss of hurt and anger. They wanted to escape, to throw themself into something they loved, but everything meandered back to Perry and they would be catapulted back into uncertainty.

LaFontaine sighed. They clasped a stone in their grip and stood, watching the playful ripples and hoping the water could wick away their sadness. LaF pitched the stone as hard as they could into the grey of the water, then walked away, shoulders hunched and head hung low.

The sun had finally set.

The ocean was dark, like the light in their eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of association in my head between LaFerry and the ocean/sea because 'The Ship And The Sea' by The Autumn Film is my go-to album when I'm writing for LaFerry (lots of ocean/sea imagery)... in case you were looking for more LaFerry feels...


End file.
